


Four Arguments Keller and Zelenka Had Around Purim, And One They Did Not

by Roga



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: 5 Things, Gen, Humor, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, Purim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-22
Updated: 2008-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 23:36:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/817360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roga/pseuds/Roga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What the title says!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Arguments Keller and Zelenka Had Around Purim, And One They Did Not

**Author's Note:**

> Keller and Zelenka being characters of the Jewish-until-proven-otherwise variety.

Four Arguments Keller and Zelenka Had Around Purim, And One They Did Not

**1.** Who’s Jewisher. Zelenka is Jewish by technicality, but was raised mostly atheist in communist Czechoslovakia. Keller’s only Jewish on her dad’s side. Zelenka’s mom speaks Yiddish, though, so he’ll probably win that one. Winner gets to choose Atlantis’s Hebrew name (Keller likes Bracha, Zelenka favors Shoshi). Nobody else actually knows they’re doing this.

**2.** Whether that edible-yet-oddly-purple-green plant _thing_ they found on P3X-170 was meat or dairy, because really, you’d think it’d be easy to tell by sight alone, and _yet_. The argument lasted for two hours during a long night shift of guard duty offworld, and ended with the conclusions that Rodney McKay was yoghurt, John Sheppard was steak, and Richard Woolsey was parve. Don’t ask how they got there. Just... don’t.

**3.** The date of Purim. Excerpts from the conversation include:

<jennk> the force shield is a wall.  
<radakulus> the force shield is not a wall.  
<jennk> it protects the city, ergo, it is a wall. it is the likeness of a wall. it walls us in.  
<radakulus> if rodney ever hears you say that he will bring upon you terror the likes of which you have not seen since that time you stole his jello. do not argue physics with me. the shield is not a wall.  
<jennk> radek  
<jennk> let me draw this out for you  
<jennk> in a way that you will understand  
<jennk> oh, look, a diagram:  
<jennk> force shield protects atlantis --> force shield is a wall --> atlantis is a walled city --> extra day of purim --> everybody gets more candy  
<jennk> “everybody” includes Rodney --> rodney does not kill me --> happiness all round --> QED.  
<radekulus> hmm  
<radekulus> i had forgotten about the candy.  
<radekulus> but was the force shield intact in the time of Joshua?  
<jennk> my guess is a big fat YES  
<jennk> also I do not care  
<jennk> also,  
<jennk> MORE CANDY.  
<radekulus> ...fine. This one goes to you.

**4.** Most annoying holiday song ever: _Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel_ or _Mishe Mishe Mishe_? In the end, when Zelenka lead the half of Atlantis in a huge conga line in the cafeteria, all merrily shouting “Mishe-mishe-mishe-mishe-mishe-mishe-mishe-mishe MISHE NICHNAS ADAR!” and Ronon adding interspersed “HEY!”s in between verses, Keller had to concede. _Nothing_ was more annoying than Mishe...

...mishe...

mishe-mishe

mishemishemishemishe _ARGH_ , she was going to _kill_ Zelenka.

**5.** Latkes, duh. It was never even a question.


End file.
